So This Is Wonderland?
by Reefgirl
Summary: Gwen always knew it would happen sooner or later, someone was bound to fall through the hole in the pavement left by the kerb lift.


Rating: T

Summary: Gwen always said it would happen one day; someone would fall through the hole left by the kerbstone lift.

Disclaimer: Don't own it or Stargate and Atlantis, never will probably

Authors Notes: I got this idea from Gwen's line in the Pilot about someone falling down the hole, the bunny bit and wouldn't let go. I might bring Alice back, I don't know yet.

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Alice Martin sighed in exasperation, her mother was matchmaking again

"Mother, I'm sure he's a very nice boy but I've only been divorced for 6 weeks and I'm not looking for a replacement, I want to be happily single for a year or two". She rolled her eyes at her mother's reply "I'm not going to be an old maid, I've failed at least one requirement for that but if it makes you happy I'll meet him, then will you leave me alone...good...I'll be in Wales for another week. As soon as we've studied the data from the eclipse I'll be home...yes I know stargazing is not a suitable job for a woman but it's what I do...yes mother...yes mother...goodbye mother" she said as she snapped her phone shut. She shook her head and smiled, her divorce had been more of a shock to her mother than anyone else, everyone else knew things hadn't been going well for a couple of years but being the old fashioned sort, her mother had thought she should stand by her man and deal with it. Now having a single daughter on her hands and no grandchildren her mother's instincts had gone into overdrive and anyone with a single son was being tracked down and invited to dinner.

Alice hopped onto the kerb to avoid a cyclist, her foot hit air and she screamed as she fell, it felt like she was falling for miles but it was only a second or so before she hit something solid, faces swam into view briefly before she passed out.

* * *

Alice's eyes flickered open, her head was pounding and her wrist hurt, she remembered falling, so that would explain the pain she felt, 

"Hi there, welcome back to the land of the living," said an American voice. Alice blinked a couple of times trying to get her eyes to focus, there was something missing, she groped around her and someone handed her glasses to her "you might want these", she slipped her glasses on and looked up at the people standing over her, two men and a woman.

"Thanks" she said "at the risk of sounding clichéd, what happened and where am I?" the woman glared at the man in an old-fashioned RAF uniform while the man in the white doctor's coat just laughed

"Ah, well you...you fell down our lift shaft" said the American man sheepishly.

"I don't care, I've always said it would happen one day but would you listen, nooooooo not you Captain You-Welsh-are-all-the-same" said the woman. The American man sighed in embarrassment

"Not now Gwen" he said, Alice caught the eye of the woman called Gwen and smirked letting her know she'd met his type before, Gwen rolled her eyes and smiled back "my name is Captain Jack Harkness, she's Gwen Cooper and he's Owen Harper and you are?".

"Would you believe me if I told you my name is Alice," she said with a laugh at the disbelieving faces "seriously it is Alice"

"Yeah and this is Wonderland" muttered Owen, Alice moved to sit up and winced in pain, Owen put and arm around her to ease her into a sitting position "take it easy, you've got concussion and a broken wrist".

"Sounds about right, so I fell down your lift shaft" Alice remarked

"Yeah, we've got a way out of here that comes up out of the pavement by the waterfall," replied Gwen. Alice looked sceptical

"Right and people don't freak out when Biggles pops out of the ground like a Jack-in-the-Box?" she said sarcastically

"It's surrounded by a perception field, you can see us but you can't if you know what I mean, like seeing something out of the corner of your eye," said Jack smugly. Alice laughed

"You've got an SEP field," she said, Jack smiled

"You know your Douglas Adams then" he said, Alice blushed

"Got all his books," she admitted. Another man appeared and handed Jack some paper and then handed Alice a mug of tea, she accepted and took a large swig "oh yes, that's much better". She took another mouthful and stared into the mug "unusual taste but never mind", she thought she saw a look of smugness creep over Jack's face, she frowned at the mug as a thought struck her. He glanced over the paper

"Alice Martin, guess you really did fall down the rabbit hole then" he said flirtatiously

"So that makes you the Mad Hatter does it?" she replied as Owen, Gwen and Ianto chuckled, their boss had met his match, Jack frowned as he began to pace

"Right, you're divorced, live in Cheshire, you're an astronomer working at Jodrell Bank, you've worked for NASA and Stargate Command" he whistled "including the Atlantis project, you've been around" he said with a grin. Alice kept her face as impassive as she could

"And you've got an impressive hacker on the staff" she said smiling sweetly at Ianto

"Just one of his many talents" said Jack with a grin. She was getting a little fed up now

"Ok Biggles you know my secrets, what about yours, what is this place that has a SEP field, a scenic lift, a full medical bay and a hacker that can access so much information so quickly?" she said wearily, Jack grinned

"Welcome to Torchwood, Cardiff" he said.

* * *

Alice blinked and closed her mouth 

"The rumours of your demise were greatly exaggerated then" she replied

"That was Torchwood One in London that was destroyed, we're Torchwood Three, Two is an man in Scotland and Four disappeared, I'll give you a tour if you want" he glanced at Owen "if that's ok?" he asked, Owen nodded

"Yeah just take it easy with her ok" he replied. Jack helped Alice off the bed and put his arm around her

"You ok?" he asked, she nodded and he led her out of the med bay followed by Owen. She found herself in what looked like an underground station, Alice heard a squawking sound and looked up to see a large bird-like creature Jack looked up as well

"Oh that's Myfanwy, she's a pterodactyl who came through the rift a few years back, she's the company pet now," he said. Alice's eyes widened

"A dinosaur is the company pet, right" she replied, Jack led her over to an Asian woman working at a computer "this is Toshiko Sato, Tosh this is Alice" Toshiko stuck out her hand and Alice shook it

"Sorry about this, we keep telling him it would happen one day but he knew best," she said, Alice grinned.

"So I've been told," she replied, Toshiko giggled

"You've met Gwen then" she said, Alice nodded

"I take it this is her pet subject" she remarked, Toshiko nodded

"Anyway, moving on" said Jack quickly "Alice here is an astronomer".

"I'm in Wales to study the eclipse, among other things" she said "so what is Torchwood, really?"

"An organisation founded by Queen Victoria, to search for and study aliens and their technology. There's a rift in time and space that run's through Cardiff things get washed up here, we study them, learn their secrets and used it to protect Earth" he replied, Alice nodded as if this was perfectly normal

"Sounds familiar, so is this rift fairly active at the moment?" she asked. Jack looked surprised

"Yeah" he said guardedly

"That explains a lot, you see at the SGC and at Jodrell we noticed that during stellar phenomena alien activity increased, eclipses, meteor showers, planetary alignments all coincide with alien sightings, as far back as Roswell in fact. Two Christmas' ago when that space ship appeared over London, there was an alignment between Jupiter and Mars, last Christmas that was a lunar eclipse and so on," Alice said smugly. Tosh sat back at her computer and began to type furiously

"Yes, it's all true, the days when the rift has been at it's most unstable there has been Stellar phenomena in progress" said Tosh excitedly, Jack groaned quietly and Owen shook his head, Alice smiled in self satisfaction

"It's such a shame I won't be able to tell you much more because you had hacker boy put something in my tea didn't you?", Jack nodded "something to make me forget seeing this place" Jack nodded again "why else would you have given me a grand tour?" she said.

"Alright, you've made your point and I'm sorry, I should have waited _then_ given you the tea but thank you for your input" he said. Alice smiled sincerely

"S'ok, having done your kind of work I do understand why you did it" she replied "so what now?"

"Ianto will drive you back to the observatory, the drug should be starting to work about now," he said apologetically. Alice shook her head slightly; it felt muzzy as if she'd had too much to drink

"Drugs?" she asked, Jack smiled

"Pain killers" he said, Alice nodded

"I had an accident, I tripped I think" she said

"That's right" he replied, "Ianto here is going to take you home". Ianto appeared at her side and held onto her arm

"This way" he said

"Right, thanks for helping me...um...um, Jack isn't it?" he nodded "thanks Jack", she said as Ianto led her out. Jack slumped into a chair, put his head in his hands and groaned

"You do know you're a total knob don't you?" said Owen, Jack nodded

"Yah, I'm beginning to realise that but thanks for pointing it out" he admitted.

"You've been trying to get your foot in the door of the SGC for years and when the opportunity falls, literally, into your lap you wipe her memory" remarked Tosh,

Alright, alright I've been a complete idiot, but we've still got all her information so I'll give it a few weeks and call her about her findings" he said, Owen snorted.

"Right, you're going to call her about her 'findings', I don't think," he said with a grin

"Well maybe not straight away but I'm sure the subject will come up eventually," replied Jack with a smirk. Tosh sighed and shook her head; nothing got Jack down for long.

* * *

Alice Martin was sitting in her parent's garden absent-mindedly fiddling with the cast on her arm; she couldn't remember how she'd broken it. She'd been told by her colleagues that a man had bought her back to the observatory, telling them she'd tripped on a loose paving stone, bumping her head and breaking her wrist in the process. They had immediately sent her home she'd protested but her mother had turned up a few hours later to take her home, complaining all the way about the state of Welsh roads and pavements. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't remember the accident, she had the occasional flash of something, a Welshman in a big black car and a big bird but not much more. She sighed and tried to take an interest in the people around her, her parents, mother's friend Agnes and her son Steven, who looked like he didn't want to be there either, suddenly a Heron took off from the riverbank at the bottom of the garden, startled, Alice dropped her cup

"Myfanwy" she said in alarm.

"Who?" asked her mother

"What?" replied Alice

"You said Myfanwy, what do you mean?" her mother said

"I...I don't know, I suddenly remembered a pterodactyl called Myfanwy, but I can't think from where" Alice said.

"You watch far too much science fiction," remarked her mother, in the house the phone started to ring so her father got up to answer it

"Steven's the same," said Agnes

"Well isn't that nice, you've got something in common," replied her mother, Alice rolled her eyes and so did Steven.

"Alice, there's someone called Jack Harkness on the phone, says he wants to talk to you about stellar phenomena" called her father, Alice got up muttering

"I don't know anyone called Jack Harkness," she said.


End file.
